“Never regret” – I hear that phrase often and it makes me think whether I’m the weird one for having regrets, or the whole world is lying to themselves. There’s nothing wrong with regrets. Truthfully, there are some experiences in my life that I wished never happened or rather, I feel were unnecessary.
People say, “but if you didn’t go through these things, then you wouldn’t be where you are now..” – MAYBE. but they also can’t prove the opposite right? If I hadn’t gone through the bad stuff, does it really mean I won’t get to where I am now?
Before the big 3-0 comes in this 2015, I want to say some things to my younger self. I want this blog to be a reminder not to make the same mistakes and hopefully, to share valuable lessons to all the twenty somethings out there. So here goes…
Dear 22-26 Year Old Trix,
Before you turn 30 this year I want to reflect on the past. I want to share to you the things I’ve learned and realized at this age and maybe it will help you get through these years.
1. Experience is not always the best teacher
You don’t have to put your hand on fire to know that it will burn you. That’s the same for the choices you will make on your career, relationships, friendships, vices. You will still be the strong, intelligent, vibrant person you are today even without the “exciting” (aka bad) choices you make. Listen to that tiny voice in your head when it says “no”.
2. Stop smoking and getting drunk
Why? Because up until now, I cannot find one single benefit it has given you and I – past and present. And all the money you spend on cigarettes could’ve been used in a whole lot of other useful things – savings for one thing. Have the occasional beer and wine because I know you love that with your meals but being drunk on them only makes for “funny” memories where people make fun of you (or talk about you in a bad light). Oh, and the same goes for drugs – yes Marijuana is a drug. Just stop it. It’s not cool at all.
3. Self discovery is not just about you…
… Believe it or not, it’s about your Maker. Remember the gadgets you buy? Yes, you can fiddle with them and figure out how it works – because you have common sense. But the moment it crashes, you take out the manual. This is because the gadget has a specific purpose and that purpose is only defined by its Maker. So, try as you might, you won’t find yourself in the relationships you will have with boys, or the cigarettes you smoke and how much alcohol you drink. You won’t find purpose in the bad things you say about other people, or the tears you cry trying to fit in- trying to make other people happy for acceptance. You will discover yourself only in your Maker. When you read His manual and claim His promises. He knows your purpose. And even if you try to fiddle with the possibilities, you will keep coming back to the manual and soon learn that it’s the only thing that makes sense – the only words that fit. This will help you turn away from false prophets and ridiculous doctrines and you will have a sense of joy and fulfillment some people won’t be able to understand but you know it comes from no place else except from Him and that’s a great thing.
4. Don’t sweat the small stuff
Not everyone will like you. Not everyone will appreciate you. More importantly, not everyone will understand you. But it doesn’t matter. Life will go on. Know and share the truth without being disrespectful nor arrogant. Forgive and forget. Don’t hold grudges. Remember, some things won’t work out, but some things will – so keep trying.
Trix, don’t waste your life on the wrong things. I assure you, the awkwardness of life now will soon fade. All the drama of your life now is unnecessary and you will shake them off eventually. You will grow in your skin.
By 27, you will let go of a man whom you think is perfect but because God tells you to, you will obey.. It will be tough but as you know, God knows the desires of your heart. And as you are rebuilding your spirituality, He is forming your future husband’s heart – to love Him first. He will pursue you and propose to you and he will love you. You will marry and your lives and love will be a testament to others.
Next thing you know, you’ll have your own 22 year old baby girl and she will read this and hopefully, learn from you and I. ❤️